it cannot be incorrect to have loved

notable events (kpop concerts, etc.) for reference:

( cut )

so i recently fell into a boynextdoor spiral and acquired a new bias (riwoo) and it got me thinking about potential throughlines with my history of stanning and biases and i wanted to see if i could find any trends. first, my approach to stanning: i think i am big on initial impressions, in that rarely does another member overtake the member who first catches my eye. sometimes this is related to visuals (as we'll get into) but sometimes it's more of a first impression through content or performances. i'm also (more historically than now) prone to going for less popular members. if that's from my innate contrarianism or because the personalities i'm drawn to tend to be less popular personalities....you decide.

i wanted to see how similar my biases are to each other, but i also wanted to look at how similar they are to me. i feel like there's that eternal question, is your bias the one who is most similar to you or most similar to your idealized self? (or none of the above, is your bias just a dude you'd want to be friends with?)

when looking at stats, i kept my list to most current and most important historical biases. there's a few other idols who i feel are Important to my stan history (e.g., snsd sooyoung, vixx ken, girl's day yura) but not as enduring so they didn't make the cut. i limited myself to one bias per group with the exception of onf because it's a true double bias and tay tawan who is not a kpop artist but he's a core part of my identity (also this is my own post! i can do what i want!)

( (k)pop psychology ahead )

hello i wrote we go without saying for the gmmtv exchange and the feedback on it was so nice that i felt compelled to talk about it.

( you're the mistake i've never made )

i've been thinking a lot recently about three bl relationships that are Important To Me:

( i fearlessly fell in love )

see y'all after my honeymoon <3

hello i wrote run with you (nine.i, vahn/joohyoung) for team canon/future 1 and the prompt play by lucy.

( 꼭 말해줘 다시 만나 또 놀자고 )

trying out new dynamix + my nine.i prompt generator

( one dkz, three nine.i drabbles )

i am in the middle (nearing the end, i hope?) of a nasty depressive episode so i deactivated my twitter accounts for a bit because it was making me extremely irritable but i have not stopped having thoughts. 1. it took me two full weeks to watch one episode of never let me go but i managed to watch all of the warp effect in one sitting last week and i love it... 2. i finally renewed my library card so i can read books on libby again but before then i went through two danmei novels (lovely allergen (dnf) and hope you've been well) which i guess counts as being literate. 3. this video has been my entire personality this month. 4. other than abbott elementary (and law and order: svu tbh) it's not often that i keep up with weekly american tv shows but i'm enjoying both poker face and shrinking right now. himym, for better or worse, is one of my comfort shows and so there's something kind of nice about jason segel showing up when i need him.

anyway i compiled a playlist of songs that capture the musical vibe i've been into lately. a little upbeat, a little wistful, a little bit sentimental.



( tracklist )

i will be back on twitter soon but i wish i could skip forward in time until after boys planet because simultaneously being outraged that anyone wouldn't put hui in their top 9 and being horrified by the idea of losing hui to a survival group is exhausting.