![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
olymfics commentary
what's up i wrote bootleg firecracker (boynextdoor, jaehyun/taesan) for team canon/future 1 and the prompt lovers or enemies by cix.
this was not the fic i set out to write, if only because i would consider jaehyun/taesan a more take it or leave it bnd ship for me (i just did a ship sorter to confirm this and they came out as #9 of 15), but the fic i started writing ended up not being very lovers or enemies. and also potentially way too long for me to manage with my work stress levels. but within that larger fic, one of the ideas i came up with was taesan getting a tattoo and jaehyun getting mad at him. that, and these two songs, led to the vibe of my eventual olymfics:
this is my third fic titled after a middle kids song because there's something about their brand of melodic indie rock that's infinitely listenable to me, which works for my preferred method of brainstorming (listening to 2-3 moody songs on repeat while driving). in particular, for bootleg firecracker, i thought the analogy fit well for the prompt (great or a disaster, lovers or enemies) and for what jaehyun was feeling.
as i said in author's notes, my jaehyun characterization was very much influenced by him saying he was an angry person before he met boynextdoor and specific instances of anger we've seen from him (notably when taesan accidentally revealed a staff member on live) where he's closed his eyes and seemed to be holding back. not that we'd necessarily get anything unflattering this early into their careers but the members have had nothing but positive things to say about jaehyun as a leader, so i was a little worried that i was making him too much of a dick but i hoped that the explanation of why he was so mad at taesan in particular made it make sense. but also i feel like it's inevitable that anyone who gives so much of himself to others all the time will reach a breaking point. #letmyungjaehyunrest
and the jaehyun/taesan dynamic was very much influenced by that whatdoor episode where jaehyun insists that taesan would never pick him to be his older brother while taesan actually picks him. to me, that was just a much more interesting and telling moment for taetjae than any of the more overt fanservice moments, even though it is fun to watch taesan die inside whenever jaehyun turns on the flirting. i think it started off in my brain as more of a misunderstanding of taesan's feelings (I say I love you, you say you don't buy it) but through writing, the characterization turned into this kind of protective denial. i ended up with taesan, an unstoppable force of a personality, meeting an immovable object, jaehyun's leader responsibilities and worries.
specific sources from the prompt i drew from:
- Now, either embrace me or / Become my enemy / It’s either between these two so / It can’t be simpler, right?
- Love or hate, it can be ugly
- bleak boyband related symbolism: wires, cameras, being monitored, robotics
- mirrors
- flowers blooming
the flowers were obviously the inspiration for taesan's tattoo (even though like would han taesan actually get a tattoo?? kurt cobain never had tattoos...gerard way doesn't have tattoos... ultimately i decided that as another deeply stubborn emo kid with nature-themed tattoos that i could project my own choices onto him) and even though i kept coming back to the shot of (checks his name) BX looking in the mirrors as a general vibe, it wasn't until i started writing the bathroom confrontation scene that i remembered that it was another connection to the mv. thank you subconscious, i guess?
when i added this song to my choices, i pictured a very obvious enemies to lovers take or even a breakup, but from the start, that's not really where my brainstorming took me. the real enemy was capitalism all along... i was worried that i didn't properly convey my inspiration well enough so i'm glad that most people seemed to pick up on my interpretation. honestly this fic ended up coming together pretty easily and while i'll never be satisfied with my climactic scenes (when you can't write a good ending bc you always just want to be Done), overall i am pretty happy with this one!
this was not the fic i set out to write, if only because i would consider jaehyun/taesan a more take it or leave it bnd ship for me (i just did a ship sorter to confirm this and they came out as #9 of 15), but the fic i started writing ended up not being very lovers or enemies. and also potentially way too long for me to manage with my work stress levels. but within that larger fic, one of the ideas i came up with was taesan getting a tattoo and jaehyun getting mad at him. that, and these two songs, led to the vibe of my eventual olymfics:
You're the love of my life, but not by choiceyou want it, you got it - bike routes
Sometimes I wish I found another, but if I tried to explain that I'd lose my voice
You want it, you got it
We could drive around and talk about it
A seance, a riot
I say I love you, you say you don't buy it
There's risk I guaranteebootleg firecracker - middle kids
When there's skin you tend to bleed
But I'd rather be fighting a losing battle
Than to live with me and my shadow
There's always a chance on the way for a win
Even a small one
So I'll keep moving til I see you cruising in
And I am an average dancer
That's not the point that I am after
I'll be your midnight bootleg firecracker
I could blow up in your hand
It could be great or a disaster
That's the point that I am after
this is my third fic titled after a middle kids song because there's something about their brand of melodic indie rock that's infinitely listenable to me, which works for my preferred method of brainstorming (listening to 2-3 moody songs on repeat while driving). in particular, for bootleg firecracker, i thought the analogy fit well for the prompt (great or a disaster, lovers or enemies) and for what jaehyun was feeling.
as i said in author's notes, my jaehyun characterization was very much influenced by him saying he was an angry person before he met boynextdoor and specific instances of anger we've seen from him (notably when taesan accidentally revealed a staff member on live) where he's closed his eyes and seemed to be holding back. not that we'd necessarily get anything unflattering this early into their careers but the members have had nothing but positive things to say about jaehyun as a leader, so i was a little worried that i was making him too much of a dick but i hoped that the explanation of why he was so mad at taesan in particular made it make sense. but also i feel like it's inevitable that anyone who gives so much of himself to others all the time will reach a breaking point. #letmyungjaehyunrest
and the jaehyun/taesan dynamic was very much influenced by that whatdoor episode where jaehyun insists that taesan would never pick him to be his older brother while taesan actually picks him. to me, that was just a much more interesting and telling moment for taetjae than any of the more overt fanservice moments, even though it is fun to watch taesan die inside whenever jaehyun turns on the flirting. i think it started off in my brain as more of a misunderstanding of taesan's feelings (I say I love you, you say you don't buy it) but through writing, the characterization turned into this kind of protective denial. i ended up with taesan, an unstoppable force of a personality, meeting an immovable object, jaehyun's leader responsibilities and worries.
specific sources from the prompt i drew from:
- Now, either embrace me or / Become my enemy / It’s either between these two so / It can’t be simpler, right?
- Love or hate, it can be ugly
- bleak boyband related symbolism: wires, cameras, being monitored, robotics
- mirrors
- flowers blooming
the flowers were obviously the inspiration for taesan's tattoo (even though like would han taesan actually get a tattoo?? kurt cobain never had tattoos...gerard way doesn't have tattoos... ultimately i decided that as another deeply stubborn emo kid with nature-themed tattoos that i could project my own choices onto him) and even though i kept coming back to the shot of (checks his name) BX looking in the mirrors as a general vibe, it wasn't until i started writing the bathroom confrontation scene that i remembered that it was another connection to the mv. thank you subconscious, i guess?
when i added this song to my choices, i pictured a very obvious enemies to lovers take or even a breakup, but from the start, that's not really where my brainstorming took me. the real enemy was capitalism all along... i was worried that i didn't properly convey my inspiration well enough so i'm glad that most people seemed to pick up on my interpretation. honestly this fic ended up coming together pretty easily and while i'll never be satisfied with my climactic scenes (when you can't write a good ending bc you always just want to be Done), overall i am pretty happy with this one!