![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
2021 in writing
the standard end of year wrap-up question format has always felt too structured to me, so same as last year i am just going to wing it.
KPOP (and TPOP)
someone has to leave first (fromis_9, saerom & hayoung, 5k)
you, who opened suns in my heart, (bnk48, wee/fond, 3k)
if the door were to open (onf, j-us/hyojin, 4.2k)
BL, ETC.
blood sugar (mr. heart, jin won/sangha, 2.6k)
wanna be everything you wanna know (mou mou, jiang tian/sheng wang, 1.5k)
somehow you arrived (to my star, jiwoo/seojoon, 3k)
STATS
- 6 fics
- 4 m/m, 2 f/f
- 6 different fandoms
- 6 different ships
THOUGHTS
- 2020 for comparison
- well this was a thoroughly unproductive year. also a pretty terrible year incidentally, so that makes sense. one of the things that sticks out to me is that last year i wrote a fic for pretty much every canon i really liked. (i think this is even more obvious if you look at some of the works i posted anonymously or under a sock but that is my secret to keep!!) it's not that i haven't loved anything as much this year (see my hundreds of words of praise for we best love), but i think it's a combination of my motivation being zapped and that many of the canons i consumed were fandoms i'd be less likely to write in for one reason or another. or they were canons that don't lend themselves to the type of short n sweet fics i wrote a lot of last year. like, yeah i could write 1.5k of han juwon and lee dongsik just hanging out and kissing, but it's not the kind of beyond evil fic i would like to read and therefore like to write. really, though, it's probably just that 2021 was weird and bad for me.
- most popular kpop fic: if the door were to open (by not a huge margin, to be fair), most popular bl fic: blood sugar (who doesn't like porn?)
- lines i liked:
- most self-indulgent fic: proof that i write only to satisfy my own id is my bnk48 unrequited historical au...WHO is my audience for real...
- most fun to write: remember when writing was fun... (actually the answer here is the jaeyoon/changyoon sexting fic from my wip graveyard and i may still go back to it)
- most difficult to write: even though i didn't post it in 2021, 90% of it was written in 2021—i feel obligated to say the pei shouyi/yu zhenxuan pre-canon fic because i started it back in april and have spent 8 months poking at it. come on, emily. otherwise, i think i unfortunately struggled with this year's yuletide (somehow you arrived). i had a vision for a cute slice-of-life fic but it just didn't come together the way i'd hoped and reads as pretty disconnected.
- sexiest moment in a fic: blood sugar wins by default for being my only explicit work, but sex pollen as a mechanism for making a character face his attraction to another character is objectively pretty hot.
- most experimental: i am someone who is pretty firmly set in their style at this point, but i definitely aimed for a more ~historical fiction~ vibe with you, who opened suns in my heart, to mirror the setting and formality of royalty. i think it still reads pretty in line with my style, just with less modern dialogue. and for someone has to leave first, having the present and past alternate and then converge felt like a bit of a risk but a format i ended up really liking.
- personal favorite: i reread it for this post and i like so much of how if the door were to open turned out. i'm not sure i quite nailed the Human Experience stuff i was going for but there were a lot of parts i am pleased with.
- overall thoughts: i've been doing a lot of reminiscing about old kpop fic recently and one thing i really, sincerely miss from 2012-14 is drabble culture, because looking back i think it was a good way to feel comfortable writing certain characters/idols. i spent a lot of if the door were to open being like Who Is ONF and like... not to say i never stopped mid-chantao fic to watch a tao video for reference or questioned my bts characterization, but i felt like i could sit down and write them in pretty much any setup without having to think as much. conversely, back then i felt super intimidated by fpf, while that's most of what i write now. there was always something about a more established canon that made me feel like i'd make some kind of mistake in comparison to the fluidity(?) of rpf, especially for smaller groups. starting to consume shorter series like kdramas (and especially kbls) or thai bls means there is less canon to consider with fpf than when i was into more western fandoms. rpf now feels like i'd mess something up.
(or maybe i am overthinking it and the main issue is just that during my kpop writing heyday, it was my main fandom and nowadays my favorite groups are just one of several prominent interests in my life.)
either way, the main point of that ramble is that in 2022 i would like to spend more time writing warm-ups or shorter things to get a feel for certain characters or just to exorcise scenes i think about often that wouldn't go into any particular fic from my brain. i also want to challenge myself to write something longer and plottier, if the inspiration strikes.
- 2021 goals: last year my goals were to write bnk48 fic (✔️), write onf fic (✔️) not solely for an exchange or challenge (❌), finish my sangha/jin won (✔️), and write the puen/than fic (❌).
- 2022 goals: i still very much want to write puen/than and hopefully this will be the year!! i also want to commit to at least one onf idea and write some gg fic for a group that isn't fromis. i want to write beyond evil fic, even if it is just a pwp. jwds deserve it... frankly we all deserve it.
KPOP (and TPOP)
someone has to leave first (fromis_9, saerom & hayoung, 5k)
you, who opened suns in my heart, (bnk48, wee/fond, 3k)
if the door were to open (onf, j-us/hyojin, 4.2k)
BL, ETC.
blood sugar (mr. heart, jin won/sangha, 2.6k)
wanna be everything you wanna know (mou mou, jiang tian/sheng wang, 1.5k)
somehow you arrived (to my star, jiwoo/seojoon, 3k)
STATS
- 6 fics
- 4 m/m, 2 f/f
- 6 different fandoms
- 6 different ships
THOUGHTS
- 2020 for comparison
- well this was a thoroughly unproductive year. also a pretty terrible year incidentally, so that makes sense. one of the things that sticks out to me is that last year i wrote a fic for pretty much every canon i really liked. (i think this is even more obvious if you look at some of the works i posted anonymously or under a sock but that is my secret to keep!!) it's not that i haven't loved anything as much this year (see my hundreds of words of praise for we best love), but i think it's a combination of my motivation being zapped and that many of the canons i consumed were fandoms i'd be less likely to write in for one reason or another. or they were canons that don't lend themselves to the type of short n sweet fics i wrote a lot of last year. like, yeah i could write 1.5k of han juwon and lee dongsik just hanging out and kissing, but it's not the kind of beyond evil fic i would like to read and therefore like to write. really, though, it's probably just that 2021 was weird and bad for me.
- most popular kpop fic: if the door were to open (by not a huge margin, to be fair), most popular bl fic: blood sugar (who doesn't like porn?)
- lines i liked:
Still, when Saerom sits down with the Mnet writer (her name is Jung Goeun, and she tells it to Saerom like they're confidants, like they're going to be friends instead of whatever symbiotic relationship exists between a writer and the girl they want to extract sound bites from), she says, smiling, "I feel so happy to be here. It's really a dream come true."(someone has to leave first)
Fond's back is to her when Wee emerges, wet hair matted to her cheeks. Fond's skin is no longer the sunkissed tan of a childhood spent outdoors, but pale and unmarked. At once, Wee is struck with the thought that, if they were here under the night sky instead, her skin might even reflect the moonlight. (you, who opened suns in my heart,)
Sometimes Seungjun imagines them as a pair of trees who've grown together, like if someone were to dig them out of the WM dirt, they'd find their roots fused and overlapping, the two of them stretching up to the sky together. Unextractable, at this point. Only able to reach these heights because of each other.
----
It's drizzling when Seungjun slips into Hwitaek's car, but it's a full-blown downpour by the time Hwitaek merges onto the highway. He's quiet with concentration and Seungjun closes his eyes, listening to the sound of fat raindrops hitting the windshield and cars passing by on either side. He's reminded of the time they'd driven back from a concert in Daegu in the rain, seven of them then. Seungjun remembers stirring when the manager pulled into a rest stop to refuel, rolling over in his seat to look at Hyojin, half of his face illuminated by the gas station lights overhead. He doesn't remember reaching for Hyojin's hand, but apparently he did, because Minkyun had snapped a picture of their intertwined fingers hanging down between their seats. Seungjun acted embarrassed, but he saved the photo to his phone. (if the door were to open)
- most self-indulgent fic: proof that i write only to satisfy my own id is my bnk48 unrequited historical au...WHO is my audience for real...
- most fun to write: remember when writing was fun... (actually the answer here is the jaeyoon/changyoon sexting fic from my wip graveyard and i may still go back to it)
- most difficult to write: even though i didn't post it in 2021, 90% of it was written in 2021—i feel obligated to say the pei shouyi/yu zhenxuan pre-canon fic because i started it back in april and have spent 8 months poking at it. come on, emily. otherwise, i think i unfortunately struggled with this year's yuletide (somehow you arrived). i had a vision for a cute slice-of-life fic but it just didn't come together the way i'd hoped and reads as pretty disconnected.
- sexiest moment in a fic: blood sugar wins by default for being my only explicit work, but sex pollen as a mechanism for making a character face his attraction to another character is objectively pretty hot.
- most experimental: i am someone who is pretty firmly set in their style at this point, but i definitely aimed for a more ~historical fiction~ vibe with you, who opened suns in my heart, to mirror the setting and formality of royalty. i think it still reads pretty in line with my style, just with less modern dialogue. and for someone has to leave first, having the present and past alternate and then converge felt like a bit of a risk but a format i ended up really liking.
- personal favorite: i reread it for this post and i like so much of how if the door were to open turned out. i'm not sure i quite nailed the Human Experience stuff i was going for but there were a lot of parts i am pleased with.
- overall thoughts: i've been doing a lot of reminiscing about old kpop fic recently and one thing i really, sincerely miss from 2012-14 is drabble culture, because looking back i think it was a good way to feel comfortable writing certain characters/idols. i spent a lot of if the door were to open being like Who Is ONF and like... not to say i never stopped mid-chantao fic to watch a tao video for reference or questioned my bts characterization, but i felt like i could sit down and write them in pretty much any setup without having to think as much. conversely, back then i felt super intimidated by fpf, while that's most of what i write now. there was always something about a more established canon that made me feel like i'd make some kind of mistake in comparison to the fluidity(?) of rpf, especially for smaller groups. starting to consume shorter series like kdramas (and especially kbls) or thai bls means there is less canon to consider with fpf than when i was into more western fandoms. rpf now feels like i'd mess something up.
(or maybe i am overthinking it and the main issue is just that during my kpop writing heyday, it was my main fandom and nowadays my favorite groups are just one of several prominent interests in my life.)
either way, the main point of that ramble is that in 2022 i would like to spend more time writing warm-ups or shorter things to get a feel for certain characters or just to exorcise scenes i think about often that wouldn't go into any particular fic from my brain. i also want to challenge myself to write something longer and plottier, if the inspiration strikes.
- 2021 goals: last year my goals were to write bnk48 fic (✔️), write onf fic (✔️) not solely for an exchange or challenge (❌), finish my sangha/jin won (✔️), and write the puen/than fic (❌).
- 2022 goals: i still very much want to write puen/than and hopefully this will be the year!! i also want to commit to at least one onf idea and write some gg fic for a group that isn't fromis. i want to write beyond evil fic, even if it is just a pwp. jwds deserve it... frankly we all deserve it.